Pretending I'm Not Stoned T-shirt
The Pretending I'm Not Stoned tee does the heavy lifting. Soft, smug, and one eyebrow away from an Oscar. It's perfect for brunch with people who say "networking," candy aisles that suddenly feel like escape rooms, and every family gathering. Period.
Who is this for? The person who rehearses "I'm just tired" in the mirror before leaving the house. The one who nods along in meetings with a level of focus that is technically suspicious. The friend who orders a $47 appetizer sampler for the table and calls it "being generous." If you have ever laughed way too hard at something that wasn't that funny and then had to explain yourself, this shirt already belongs to you.
It also makes a great gift for anyone who treats eye drops like a personality trait and snacks like a competitive sport.
- 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
- Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd (142 g/m)
- Pre-shrunk fabric
- Side-seamed construction
- Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
- Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Size Guide
| Size | Length (in) | Width (in) | Chest (in) |
|---|---|---|---|
| XS | 27 | 16½ | 31–34 |
| S | 28 | 18 | 34–37 |
| M | 29 | 20 | 38–41 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 42–45 |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 46–49 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 50–53 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 54–57 |